Public Speaking Nightmares

I've joined and won a lot of speech-related competitions since I was in kindergarten all the way until high school. I love talking. I like letting people know what I stand for. Conversing and arguing with my family, friends, and even strangers is one of my favourite things to do. Having said that, you might conclude that I'm pretty good in public speaking. 

I'm not.

Perhaps, not any more.

Even then, I really got nervous, when I joined contests and all that, but now, somehow, I've gotten worse.

These days, whenever I'm up to deliver something orally - a speech, a report, or to simply answer a teacher's question - I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, with all the eyes looking at me expectantly, and I always end up losing myself.

I laugh hysterically (humiliating myself even more), my legs tremble, my hands sweat and feel cold, I stutter and mispronounce words, and my brain blacks out. I turn into this really mad, mad girl. A classmate of mine even did these accurate impersonations me, as though reminding me of how awful I am when it comes to public speaking.

I really don't know what happened to my speech skills. Even my mum noticed my sudden withdrawal from public speaking when I entered college. Is it fear of getting embarrassed? Is it because of the nerves and intimidation? Inferiority? Shyness? Or is it because of my poor and deteriorating auditory skills? I have no idea.

So now, I really have to work on the way I speak and carry myself publicly  since it has its own course in our curriculum for this semester (I don't want my grades to look as sick as I am when I'm speaking in front of people), and it is a very essential factor when it comes to the field I chose to pursue, which is Journalism.

♥Andz