Innocent Wild: Remembering My Dear Papaze

It's a new morning, and you wake up. For about a few seconds, you want to believe that everything's fine until the dreaded sadness flows into your senses, and you realise that everything that happened last night wasn't just a bad dream.

-from my 6 February, 2014 journal entry (revised)

***

It's been a really difficult week for me and my family. My dearest Papaze passed away last Wednesday in Singapore, the 5th of February.

Sudden, unbelievable, and painful. I don't know how to describe it. I just lost my favourite uncle. Moreover, my aunt lost her one and only true love, and my cousin lost his father. It's a family tragedy that nobody saw coming.

Having bawled my eyes out over the past week, I'm certainly not in the mood to cry again, even if I want to. I have to be strong for my aunt and my cousin. They need all the support they could get right now, and me breaking down wouldn't help them at all.

So let me just tell you about the Papaze I know.

Well, he’s crazy.

He’s crazy-funny. No joke of his ever goes un-laughed at that he could turn even the greyest day into a brighter one with his sense of humour. He’s just always this happy person with a very infectious smile. His funny personality is one that nobody will ever forget about him.

He’s crazy-talented. He’s a dancer (the 80’s hip-hop kind), a basketball player (he’ll damn outplay you!), a kick-ass architect (oh, God, he’d spend hours and hours in front of his computer that shows nothing but colourful lines), an awesome artist (our walls at home are plastered with his framed paintings), a great chef (damn, I’ll really miss his sisig, peppery nilaga, and arroz caldo!), an incredibly skilled photographer (the reason why he’s missing in most family photos is because he’s always behind the lens!), and whatnot! If you know him, it would be very hard to say that you’re not a fan of him.

Most of all, he’s crazy-in-love with my aunt. His love for my aunt is one rare human phenomenon, and their love story is the kind that you’d want to have for yourself. High school sweethearts, who dated for 11 years before finally tying the knot.

They’re simply destined for each other! In other words, they are soulmates. Today – the 13th of February – is actually the day my aunt said yes to him when he courted her to be his girlfriend, making their relationship a solid 30 years.

There are about a million other great things about Papaze and a simple blog post like this will never be enough for all of them. But if there’s one thing that I will always be thankful to him for, it would be how he loved me as though I were his own niece, even if we’re not at all related by blood (he’s the husband of my mum’s sister), and that’s the reason why I don’t call him “tito” (uncle), but “Papaze” (Papa + the first syllable of his name, Zeus), because he's a second father to me.

Now that he’s gone, I have one big promise to him: that I will be the best ate to his son, and the best niece to his wife. I will always be there whenever they need me, and I will always –always – love them.

That's my dad, Papaze, and Mamanet with me when I was just a few
months old.

This photo was taken on my cousin's first birthday, and is definitely one of
my favourites. That's my dad carrying my cousin with Papaze carrying a
little me with an awkward smile. Haha!